Becoming a professional musician
The road to success and its very definition may surprise you
I never in a million years would have thought that rural Normandy would be the place I’d find my music career, but there you have it. After years of not taking it seriously, not believing I was good enough or not finding the right people to collaborate with, the stars truly aligned for me in a magical way exactly three years ago. I now believe with complete conviction that it is never too late to pursue something you love, even if you think you’ve already missed the opportunities life has presented so far.
Singing has been a part of my life since I can remember. I wrote my first song when I was 10 years old, anyone that went to school with me will remember it. I even bumped into someone from school a few years ago who started singing it to me right there in Marks and Spencers;
Waiting, Waiting
For something that ain’t happening
Waiting, waiting for you
It turned out to be somewhat of a prophecy. It would be 25 years before I became a “professional” musician despite my half arsed efforts.
I was always encouraged by my teachers and peers at high school, I took music GCSE despite having no real aptitude for the theoretical side of it (it looks an awful lot like maths to me), but it was a way to keep performing which is what I loved. Until that fateful day of the school concert. I decided to perform my song “Waiting” that my uncle had put to music and recorded a backing track for. I even had back up singers! But then, I forgot the words. To my own song!! To be fair, I was only 11. But that event really affected me and totally destroyed my confidence.
I kept on singing and songwriting but mostly in private. It was my escape and my antidote to all the trials and tribulations of adolescence. I would sit in my parents’ car and sing Skunk Anansie at the top of my lungs, angry at the world yet grateful to have such an effective way to release my emotions. When I look back at the songs I wrote during my teens, I clearly had some pain to expel. But I also wrote songs for friends, this one I still remember clearly, written for my best friend that was heading down a dark path. When all else failed, I used music to try and get through to her.
Inside your head, it’s a colder day for being
You’re lost in thought, but the battle’s not yet fought
Then you gasp for air, and I know you still care,
But it’s not up to me, up to whom you’re aware
Live more each day, think of more to say,
Don’t just spin yourself, into another daze
Now we’re watching you drown in this pool of ecstasy,
It may seem inviting but it doesn’t come for free
When I went to college I really felt I wasn’t in the right place. I desperately wanted to go to performing arts school but I was on to all As for my A levels so my parents didn’t want me to drop out. I suppose it’s understandable, but I think I’ll always wonder what could have been if I had dared to live my dream back then.
Throughout my twenties singing was just something I did occasionally for fun. I met people at university (where I studied music business) who I had some fun collaborations with, I jammed with my incredibly talented brother on the guitar, but I didn’t take the time to hone my craft. I didn’t really think I was good enough to warrant taking it seriously, and even If I were, I didn’t want to become “famous” so what was the point? I was having far too much fun working hard and partying harder every weekend anyway to do anything seriously.
When I was 24 I ended up living in Sydney, Australia after 6 months travelling. I reunited with my old college friend Kelly, we’d always had a strong musical bond and loved to harmonise together. We formed a group with guitarist Nadia, singing sweet three part harmonies on those hot summer evenings with plenty of white wine and guacamole. We even got scouted by the Hard Rock Cafe when we played a festival, they recorded a demo for us and it was our big break to have a residency there. But I returned to England on holiday, remembered the life I missed so much and the job I hated in Aus that was my only ticket to stay there, and I never went back. Another missed opportunity, a regret one might call it, but how can you regret the life events that lead you to “the one”? So I stayed in England, I partied, I dated (very unsuccessfully), I became a primary school teacher and I was set on a new path toward burnout.
And then, I met my muse.
When I was 28, I met my now husband and I knew from the get go that he was the one. I put my best foot forward, and did everything in my power to bag him. Including wooing him with my siren song. When I told him I write songs too, he naturally asked me if I could write one for him. “Blissful Satisfaction” was born! When a few months after meeting we went travelling together, I met a musician, Javier, in Chile who put my melody to guitar, we spend a wonderful week together playing music and recording a few things in the hostel garden, along with “The Promise” written for my good friend as her wedding present as I was not able to be there. This experience reignited my fire for songwriting and I vowed not to let it go again.
We moved to Paris in 2015 where I became an English teacher, and made friends with Jamie who happened to be missing a singer for his band. After just one session together we were making music like old friends, and I wrote Hurricane and a few others that I still play now with my current group, Soul Trip. All it takes is meeting the right person at the right time, sometimes. We jammed a lot together, and more recently recorded an electronic track together, “Lay your body down” inspired by a friend who met someone at the full moon beach party in Thailand…
Keep the lights down low, oh I feel it
The night is almost over
I feel you get weary, hold your body against me
Lead me to the unknown
Fearless in disguise, we shimmer in the twilight
Lay your body down, close to mine
Lay your body down, until the sunrise…
Anticipation, you keep me waiting
Move me in slow motion
Feeling the quickening, oh this heart race
As we stare across the ocean…
When I had my first child we decided to move to Normandy, so I thought the roll I was on was over, if not for the lack of time looking after a baby, but for the location. But like everything in life, I decided to attack it head on. I joined facebook music groups and advertised myself as able to help French people with their songwriting, as I was sure I didn’t want to be a performer because of that fateful high school concert 20 years before. It feels ridiculous to type that right now I won’t lie.
A friend of a friend got in touch about my ad. Marthe and I became friends and I helped her prepare for her upcoming concert. She was to perform all of her English songs that were not yet flowing naturally as she didn’t really speak English. A somewhat impossible task, but she was determined and saw it through despite huge anxiety about taking to the stage. It was a success, and I was blown away by her bravery. We went to a bar afterwards where there happened to be an open mic soul night on. Inspired by Marthe’s courage, I got up on stage and sang “Heard it through the grapevine”, my go to soul classic.
I LOVED it.
I came alive on that stage in a way I didn’t know I could. After that performance everything felt possible. This huge shift happened and I knew this was the time for me. This was “My Time”.
I’m feeling different, like maybe this was meant to be
Better be cautious just in case
Somebody’s watching, I wonder what they see
Who’s in the mirror looking at me?
This is my time, my moment to see
How high I can fly
Yeah yeah yeah!
I’m suddenly braver, the strength it was within,
I took a chance I found my way
I’m on a roll now, the words fall with no delay
Turns out I’ve so much more to say…
Following this breakthrough, Marthe told me about an audition she was going for, for a soul covers band. This was absolutely not her style of music, she was hesitant to go through with it and I told her it was my JAM! She graciously put me in touch with Lionel, who I immediately clicked with. He was also looking for a singer songwriter for his other funk/soul group, if I happened to like writing too…
HELLO DESTINY!
HELLO COVID!
I had written a few lyrics to their instrumentals that we were to test out at a preliminary audition, and then lockdown #1 happened. Unbelievable timing. But the chemistry was so good between Lionel and I that we just thought, FUCK THIS, And spent those 3 months of lockdown writing song after song, despite never having even met in the flesh.
When we were finally able to meet in the summer, it just worked. There was no question we would see this through. I mean, how often do you meet someone you can write 10 songs with remotely, who has the same musical inspirations (he might be the only guy in Normandy who knows as much as me about drum and bass!) and the same drive to write and perform? Not only do I write great songs with Lionel, but Mathieu the pianist too. Completely different styles, completely different relationships, but they both work so well and give the band its unique sound.
We recorded an EP in September, which secured us 10 paid concerts for the following summer. Pretty rare for a new band. Over that summer I grew into performing, and have improved over the last three years. This is a whole new world for me, feeling so vulnerable on stage singing my deepest felt feelings in front of a crowd. I’ll be honest, at first it was a relief that most people couldn’t understand what I was saying, being in France and all. But now I’m eager to share my music and hope that people will feel the intentions of the song and use it to help them in difficult times. There’s a real theme in our repertoire of hope, fulfilment and drive to be better, because that’s what I feel and all that I know. That, and what it feels like to be truly in love. Each concert I am a little more confident, I move a little more, and create a little more intimacy with the audience. The last gig we played was the first one where I felt like I was at home on that stage, and the feedback afterwards shared the same sentiments. After a day of changing nappies and contending with making dinners, doing washing and the odd temper tantrum, I’m so grateful to have somewhere to go that’s my own, where I can be myself and let out all of my emotions taking the audience on a journey of the soul with me. That’s the meaning of our name, Soul Trip, after all. And to think, this is just the beginning! I can’t wait to see where it all leads.
(You’ll notice I was 6 months pregnant when we filmed this clip, I told you I was on a roll and wasn’t going to let anything stop me!)
So I’m a part time stay at home mum (I don’t think being a part time mum is really a thing though, to be honest) and part time musician, playing gigs regularly with Soul Trip and other covers projects for events. Every gig is paid which is a huge plus in France, and I even got sent €200 in December in royalties just for singing the songs I wrote at a handful of public events. Not bad for a rookie! I can be present for my family, and step on stage to feel my empowerment and passion on a regular basis. I love it and know now that we can experience success on our own terms, we are the ones who define what it means. Sure, I’ll need to return to work full time soon, but that’s tomorrow Lauren’s problem. For now, it’s time to live in the present and appreciate what I have.
